Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
