But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
