i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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