just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
