dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
