Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
