But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
