Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
