You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
