Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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