fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
it's like iHOP with fire
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize