i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
