remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize