Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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