Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
