I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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