stop calling my apartment porn island.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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