Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
