I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
