Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
