Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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