It's Friday. Sex?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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