i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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