he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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