Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
