How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Randomize