hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
