I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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