If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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