I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My ass is underappreciated
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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