he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
