You smell like a Billy Joel song
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
