Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
