I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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