he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize