found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
