it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I love having hate sex.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
