i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
