I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
