I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
you had me at cake vodka
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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