I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
