She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
