I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
