if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
