I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
