I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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