The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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