At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
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The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
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BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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