We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just found a bag of teeth...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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