dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Welp...herpes.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
