Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
