no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
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