so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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