Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
