There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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