I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
