How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
