I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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