I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
