just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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