Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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