Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
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Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
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Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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